You want to cultivate a sex life which is both intensely satisfying as well as consistent (if not constant.) A husband who is a master of seduction knows how to turn one successful night of marital bliss into the next one. Here’s how to get that done.
Seducing your wife again tomorrow, in a couple days or even next week starts when you have just made love to her THIS time. That’s right, you set the stage for next time almost as soon as you close the deal this time.
Keep in mind: She wants to see you are the sweet, loving, romantic guy you are. She needs that. She needs to feel you desire her–and you’d rather be with her than any of the Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders (or all of them, as the case may be.)
In order to accomplish that goal you need to cherish her–not just before, not just during, but afterwards as well. Here are some keys to making her feel like the special woman she is.
Cuddle and Nuzzle After
This is a hard one for those of you who go Annie comic x-eyes as soon as your little boys do their dirty work. If this is you, when the shuddering subsides, hold her, tell her how wonderful, beautiful and sexy she is, tell her you love her, you can’t wait for next time and tell her you just want to fall asleep holding her.
Otherwise hold her and tell her all of the above and then shut up. Gently stroking her face and hair, looking into her eyes, let her talk or just be quiet. Listen.
Remind Her in the Morning
You can kiss her deeply in the morning when she gets up, or you can leave her a romantic note. A nice touch is to send her a single rose at work the next day with the note “Last night was amazing, I can’t wait to do it again.”
Remind Her When you Get Home
Same routine as when you came home the day before. Kiss her deeply. Like you mean it.
Now she may want to make love to you again that night, but even if she doesn’t, she’s seeing herself as your lover again, not just as a partner in life and co-parent. She feels sexier. She feels desired and cherished.
Follow this little plan will keep her pilot light on so she is more interested in spontaneous sex in the future as well as putting away the kiddies for the evening again for a more drawn out love-making session.
You’ve already primed the pump. You’ve been seducing her all day. You cooked dinner and did the dishes. She’s had a glass or two of wine and she knows the two of you are going to make love.
At this point I wish I could give you a step-by-step index card size cheat sheet for tickling your bride’s fancy. The truth is every woman is different. I’ll give you the broad strokes (pardon the pun) and you can fill in the specifics.
Talk a Little
If you followed the plan thus far you should have a couple of fortune cookies (or more) floating around. Before you leave the table take them out and remind your girl of the old joke about adding “in bed” to the end of the fortune. Then each open your cookie and read the fortune followed by “in bed.”
Sometimes it’s pretty funny and kinda sexy.
Go Slow
Men tend to masturbate often during the first part of their sexual lives and often do so when time is of the essence. As such they learn to climax quickly. Often when we get married we continue to practice our “two minute drill” with our love making.
The intensity of her orgasm and yours is directly related to how much time you spend sexually aroused and the intensity of that arousal. If you look at arousal on a scale of 1 to 10—10 being moments before you climax—you want to get to and stay at a 6 or 7 for as long as possible to have the most intense orgasm.
Take your time with her and with yourself and you will both enjoy it much more.
Take the Long Way ‘Round
Often married couples develop a “standard” love-making routine. You touch her “here,” she responds by touching you “there” and in fifteen minutes you turn on Letterman.
Try this instead:
Undress her slowly, taking time to appreciate every piece of clothing. Take off her clothes as if each one was made of fragile paper. If she put on something sexy for you, take time to drink her in with your eyes.
If you want to touch her breasts, don’t. Instead, gently stroke her arms, her stomach—every part of her torso except her breasts. As she begins to warm up get closer and closer to her erogenous zones.
Turn Up the Volume Slowly
Remember that scene in “This is Spinal Tap” where Nigel (played by Christopher Guest) tells the interviewer he likes a particular amplifier because it doesn’t just go to “10” it goes to “11”?
If you turn up the volume slowly your wife, who made not have been turned up over an 8 for years, might just get to an 11. And so will you.
The longer you gently kiss, caress and gently tickle her body the higher her volume will go. As you continue you can begin gently touching her more sensitive areas and watching her reaction.
Check Her Oil Regularly
Your wife’s body will tell you when she is getting significantly aroused. Many women will begin moaning (which is pretty cool Romeo), she may begin thrusting her hips. If you touch her labia they will begin to moisten. The more lubricated she becomes, the more aroused she is.
In some women this is more subtle. As a woman ages she may have less lubrication. If this is the case with your wife she may find it more comfortable to use an artificial lubricant like KY jelly or Astroglide. Saliva is also a great lubricant (hint, hint.)
Close the Deal for Her and for You
While in a perfect world all women would climax exactly as their man climaxed. That is rarely the case.
Instead most women require much more direct clitoral stimulation to reach orgasm—even after you masterfully prepare her with your new found foreplay skills. Oral stimulation by her partner, direct stimulation with well lubricated fingers or using a vibrator are great ways to help her find her orgasm.
It is important that you make her pleasure your priority. In many cases that may mean she has her orgasm first. Don’t worry, it will give you a better orgasm when you do get your turn.
Now that you’ve achieved your goal of giving yourself and your wife a wonderful treat, there’s just one more step: Setting the stage for next time.
