Marriage Help: After the Affair
January 17th, 2008 by Aaron from FullTiltMarriage.com · 1 Comment
A woman writes, after ending her affair…..
“Wow! I happened to fall upon this site and I am so amazed at all the responses on this matter. I am not proud of what I am about to say but I fell in love with a married man. It started out as a professional relationship, but he flirted and pursued me and eventually I relented.
I believed him when he said, “nothing would change between us professionally.”
I believed him when he said “I have never done this before”….but little clues led me to believe different.
The fact that when his wife called him on his cell and he answered (while I was present) he would look me straight in the eye and not act nervously at all. Another time (I tested this) by hugging him while he was conversing with her, and he did not wince, or push me away at all!
So, either, he really hated her, or he is very used to this situation.
I wised up and left this relationship. She caught on, and I could tell that she had dealt with this before. She wasn’t even angry, it was more like: “Here we go again.”
I feel sorry for her. He is (so-called) “high profile.”
He makes a good living and they have several young kids. It hurt to leave, because I did love him. I probably still do,…but bottom line is it was so wrong!
One doesn’t intentionally try to get into these situations….at least I didn’t….it just happened, and like a fool I fell for his charm.
Don’t be stupid like I was…..realize…that if he really loved you. He would leave her for you….but then…..”buyer beware”….you just might get what you wished for! Hmmmm………? No Thanks. I don’t want to spend MY marriage looking over my shoulder and babysitting my husband…..just like it has been stated previously….if he did it to her? What is to stop him from doing it to you? What makes you better? You are NOT the mother of his children, you do NOT own property together, you do NOT have a history together….so why wouldn’t he cheat on you too?? Just an FYI….take it from someone who knows….
Here’s an update: AFTER I broke it off with him I ran into a girl at a nightclub and she told he that he had sex with one of her co-workers! Now who would have thought?”
This comment was left on the article found here: rodesmith.com/2006/01/13/the-seductive-nature-of-an-extramaritial-affair/
Rod Smith has taught family therapy and courses on related topics for various institutions, primarily The University of the Nations, in many locations around the world. His “YOU AND ME” newspaper column is widely enjoyed in South Africa where it has been published daily for almost to 7 years.
So valued are Rod Smith’s methods of intervention that high-profile, highly conflicted families have flown him half the way around the world to assist in finding some manner of resolution to seemingly insurmountable dilemmas.
Rod writes the Difficult Relationship Blog and is available to help you with your own difficult relationship issues. You can reach Rod via email Rod@DifficultRelationships.com OR “RodeSmithMSMFT” on SKYPE.
Art here.
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