Sex & Marriage - Don’t Let Life Get in the Way of Having Sex
By Alyssa Johnson at RemarriageSuccess.com
Sex in marriage can be difficult when you’ve got kids and numerous demands on your time. It’s just not the same as it was when you were newly married and could run around the house naked if you wanted to. The spontaneity of sex gets stiffed a little too because there are little ones whose needs have to be taken care of as well.
Always putting those little ones needs above your own as a couple is a dangerous choice. You need to keep that marriage strong and your sexual relationship is an important aspect in protecting that marriage from all of the other outside pressures. Your sexual relationship is one aspect that the world at large has nothing to do with. It’s just you and your spouse celebrating one another and your relationship.
Men and women’s sex drives are different. There’s no getting around that. It’s important to “work with what you’ve got” and understand how those differences can be used to your advantage rather than see it as something to “deal with.”
For women, a difficulty is that if they don’t have sex frequently, they can start losing the desire for it. It just sort of falls of the radar. This is easy when women are burdened with household and child rearing responsibilities along with a full-time job. There’s so much to get done that sex never makes it to the “to do” list.
Men, on the other hand, just become frustrated and irritable when the sexual relationship is less than what they want. It’s very difficult for men to understand why their wives aren’t interested in having sex at the drop of a dime. Most men’s thinking goes something like this: “It feels good, right? Then why not do it if you’re tired to help you relax and feel better?!”
This is one of those eternal conflicts in marriage that couples need to learn how to sort out effectively. The bottom line, however is that you DO need to maintain your sexual relationship no matter what the external pressures may be on your marriage.
One option for doing this is to schedule sex. Now I know you’re probably thinking, “How romantic!!” But, take a minute and think about it. Obviously you’re having a hard time fitting sex into your routine right now. You make the time to run the kids to their activities. You make the time to go to the dentist. Why? It’s on the calendar and you’ve made a commitment to do it. While scheduled sex may not be spontaneous, it can be romantic. You’ve got the opportunity to anticipate it and prepare for it. Don’t cram a bunch of stuff into those days. Take it easy so you wont’ be so tired. Just the anticipation of it may actually help your desire level.
Give it a try a few times. Make it every bit as much of a priority as all of the other things on your “to do” list. It shouldn’t be something that you squeeze in if you feel like it or have time. It should be one of the top 3 priorities of the day!
Art from Loving Sex
Alyssa is a remarriage expert. She specializes in working with divorced families who are planning to remarry.
She provides high quality resources and support to these newly emerging step families. In addition to her website, Alyssa provides remarriage and step family coaching to clients in person or on the phone.
She, along with a collegue, developed a divorce recovery class for children (FACT - Families Accepting Change Together) . Her desire is to work not only with the children, but also their parents to help everyone adequately prepare for a remarriage with the goal being to avoid a redivorce and achieve remarriage success!
Want to learn more about creating a more fulfilling sex life with your spouse? I want to invite you to download our audio, “Daytime Parents & Nighttime Lovers” by visiting http://www.RemarriageSuccess.com/9117audiosignup.htm
Are you remarried and trying to build a step family? If so, why not become a member of our Tip of the Week? Each week you’ll receive an information packed tip with tons of resources and supports to strengthen your marriage and step family. Learn more by going to http://www.RemarriageSuccess.com/tip.htm
(Article originally appeared at EzineArticles.com)
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