What Causes Affairs? Is Your Marriage at Risk?

Affairs: Cause or Effect?

My boyfriend cheated on me. My wife had an affair with her co-worker. We have all heard these sad stories of betrayal. In most situations, the relationship ends. What I really want to know, is the affair the cause of the breakup or the effect of something else wrong in the marriage?

Cause

Some affairs happen simply because there is the opportunity for it to happen. An example can be a one-night stand. There is no connection except for a drunken encounter. Many, many people in love have had this type of affair. It means nothing to the person cheating and it can cause damage that takes years to repair.

Another type of affair is the once-per-year meeting. Maybe you attend the same conference annually. Again, it is only about sex. There is no love involved. You can still love your spouse and have a happy family and not even consider leaving. This can also end a marriage, easily.

Effect

Now, the other type of affair is the one that you don’t go looking for. It just happens. I’m certainly not condoning this behavior, because we all make our own decisions. The thing is, if you are unhappily committed and your needs aren’t being met, it is easy for this to happen. Someone starts to pay attention to you and make you feel loved and special. This leads to an emotional connection which leads to a physical and sexual connection. These affairs can go on for years or they can cause you to leave your spouse. This is definitely an effect of a bad marriage.

What are your thoughts on the subject?

Terri is author of The Passion Blog and helps singles and couples
learn the skills to create and maintain loving, passionate
relationships with an intense sexual connection through her
relationship coaching.

To read her blog go here: http://PassionBlog.Wordpress.com

To find out more about her coaching go here: http://www.ingenio.com/Coach+Terri

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