Found this here and thought it was worth repeating:
Paul David Tripp gives a list of open-ended questions for marriage counseling, or perhaps even for us to evaluate and see our own relationships with new eyes:
- What things did you see in this person that made you want to marry him?
- What were your goals for your marriage when you were engaged?
- What things in your marriage make you sad?
- what things in your marriage make you happy?
- If you could press a button and change your marriage, how would it change?
- In what ways do you think God is honored by your marriage?
- How would you characterize your communication with your husband?
- Describe how you and your husband arrive at decisions.
- Describe how you as a couple resolve conflicts.
- How would you describe your spiritual ife as a couple?
- Are there couples you look up to? What do you respect about their marriages?
- Why do you think you have struggled as a couple?
- What do you see as the strengths of your marriage?
- What do you see as the weaknesses of your marriage?
- What do you think you need to do as a couple to get from where you are to where you need to be?
- Describe the marriage of your dreams.
- What could your spouse do to greatly change your marriage?
- What problems in your marriage do you see as your responsibility?
- What specific things have led you to conclude that your marriage needs help?
- What do you think God is doing in your marriage right now?
- What do you think keeps you as a couple from solving your problems?
- Describe how your marriage has changed over the years.
- When you are hurt or angry with your spouse, what do you do?
- How do you communicate dissatisfaction to your spouse?
- Pick one area of your marriage where you think you have problems. Describe what is wrong and what each of you has done to solve it.
- In what ways have you attempted to communicate love and appreciation to your spouse?
- What are the biggest hot buttons in your marriage?
Instruments in the Redeemer’s Hands 175-176
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