Remember sex before you had kids? Remember how you would tear each other’s clothes off, leaving a trail from the entryway to whatever soft surface would cushion your passionate urges? Remember rolling over in bed on a Sunday morning and staying there with your lover all day?
Or has it been so long since you had kids you can hardly remember sex?
You already know in order to have a marriage that survives and thrives you and your partner need to cultivate an active sex life. You also know that children from toddlers through teens are a constant distraction to your privacy.
So what’s a parent to do when (s)he wants to get their groove thing goin’?
Here are six ways to get more romantic privacy. Some are common sense, some you have probably used already and some will be completely new to you. Make romance a priority and not only will your marriage benefit, so will your kids. (Though you may end up with one or two more than you had planned….)
Lock the Doors and Bar the Windows
Well, you probably don’t have to put bars on the windows, but you can certainly put a lock on your bedroom door. This not only keeps the kids from “accidentally” interrupting your game of “Indiana Jones and the Genie of the Magic Lamp,” it also takes away the fear that one of your kids will wander in.
Tell Them the Monsters Live in Daddy and Mommy’s Room
Every little kid has a secret desire: To sleep with mommy and daddy. At first, it’s cute. They’re “scared” or “lonely” and “it’s not fair you get to sleep together and I have to sleep alone.” Don’t fall for these little con jobs. Small children have a secret society where they teach these guerilla tactics to one another. If you want to have an active sex life with your spouse, make the tykes sleep in their own beds. You can lay with them for a while if they are particularly scared (or you thoughtlessly let them watch Freddy Kruger with you), but their bed needs to be their bed.
Trade Your Kids on Ebay
No, just kidding. What I really mean is set up a trade with one of your friends who also has kids about the same age. One weekend (or even one night) they take ALL the kids to their house for the night. The next weekend you take all the kids to your house for the night. The kids get a sleep over with their friends and both couples get a romantic weekend alone.
Hire a Professional
Babysitters are expensive. So are lawyers. You hire a lawyer when you have a job so terrible no one else will do it. That’s why they’re paid so much. Same is true for babysitters.
Whether it is an evening out, returning after the tots hit the hay or spending the night at the Hilton, a babysitter is often a small price to pay for carefree time alone.
Mall Your Teenagers
Teenagers present their own set of privacy problems. They tend to figure out when ol’ Dad and Mom are getting’ old age, gross, frisky. They also stay up later than you do.
So if you have teenagers, offer to fund a party at a friend’s house. “Dad and Mom want time alone, son, so I’ll spring for Pizza and Red Bull at Tommy’s.”
You get time alone, they stay up all night in a Red Bull induced frenzy and everybody’s happy.
Take ‘em to Geezer Town
Your parents LOVE to watch the grandkids and they love to visit G-ma and P-pa, right? Indulge them both by sending the kids on an all expense paid trip—alone—to Geezerville. Your parents will learn again the joy of mid-night feedings and diapers while the kids will hone their Bridge skills and learn to play “Hide the Dentures.”
They’ll never want to come home.
Do you need more time alone with your spouse? Pick out one of the ideas above and put it to work. I’ll bet you both end up smiling—and maybe just a little bit more in love.
If you liked this artilce you will also enjoy:
- How to Save Your Marriage
- How to Understand Your Husband’s Crazy Brain
- How to Get What You Want in Marriage
This book will help you BOTH find happiness and fulfillment.
Just click here to begin having the marriage of your dreams!
on Oct 24th, 2007 at 9:26 am
These tactics are pretty good. I do find it weird that younger parents often feel they need to be chained to their children 24-7. The babysitter suggestion is genius; obvious, but ignored.